Google thinks I’m the spitting image of Zach Galifianakis


Apparently the ability to search Google Images using an image you upload has been around for a couple of years, I only fell over it today by accident.

Go to Google Images and click the camera icon at the right hand end of the search box. You will be prompted to upload an image, and Google will then search for images in its index that match.

I searched using the image above – it’s a studio shot taken for an investment prospectus a few years ago. Lo and behold it found a list of pages that include that image, and then gave me a list of “visually similar images”. Which is when things turned a little scary:

Screen Shot 2013-05-10 at 9.48.07 AM

Apparently I look similar to a bunch of Korean nuclear scientists, plus at least two chaps  named Christian.

For fun I tried with the charcoal sketch I use as an avatar on most sites:

charcoal cleaned up small

Here’s where I struck gold.

Screen Shot 2013-05-10 at 9.56.19 AM

Check out the first image on the bottom row. Google thinks I look like Abraham Lincoln. Most importantly note the middle image on the bottom row.


Yup, you got it right, Google reckons I’m the spitting image of Zach Galifianakis.


Turns out I’ve been scuppered by my complete lack of celebrity knowledge, apparently the image is of Bradley Cooper, it’s just that Google Images showed me the name “Zach Galifianakis” when I rolled my mouse over. So that’s who I presumed it was. Clearly I’ll never make an entertainment reporter on the E! network.


Caught out by my own child over an Aston Martin


After nearly 16 years as a parent I really should know better, but clearly I never learn. My son knows full well I covet a Maserati, as a fall-back an Aston Martin would suffice. I’m constantly buying lottery and sweepstakes tickets where one of the prizes is a car such as this.

From time to time, like many parents, I have been known to lament to my children that if it wasn’t for them, I’d be retired and living on my tropical island, and tooling around in an extremely expensive motor vehicle.

This desire is made all the harder by our neighbour over the road, who often parks his Maserati in the drive way, straight in my eyeline as I walk out our front gate. Of course, the Maserati lives in the driveway because all the space in his garage is taken up with his Ferrari. That’s what comes from living in a ‘nice’ suburb.

And with the text message above my 12 year old now clearly believes you can have your cake and eat it too.

An Australian in San Francisco, translation guide

Each time I arrive in the USA I try to mentally unplug my Australian English dictionary, and insert the USA English cartridge. Whilst I’m sure my American friends find my accent charming (well, the woman who cut my hair, and the checkout chick at Safeway certainly said they “luurve my accent”) on occasion I just plain confuse the locals.

I continue to refuse to spell words using ‘Z’, or drop my ‘U’s when writing, even when producing work-related documents where the primary audience is American. Need a little subversion here and there. And that’s despite me working with HTML code a lot, which is firmly USA – ‘centre’ is ‘center’ and so forth. Which reminds me, I was standing outside an office building one day in San Francisco, named the ‘something something centre’. I pointed out, tongue in cheek, to my American friend how pleasant it was to see the word spelt right – to which he replied the owners probably wanted to make the building sound ‘fancy’! So there you are, ‘centre’ is fancy, ‘center’ is not.

There are many websites offering Australian <-> American translations or word equivalents. Here are the ones that confuse my US friends if I forget the mental dictionary change.

  • American leaves fall off trees in Fall. Australian leaves wait for Autumn
  • Americans plug things into power strips. Australians plug things into power boards.
  • Americans buy Advil at the drug store. Australians buy Panadol from the pharmacy.
  • Americans eat their entrees after their starters. Australians eat their entrees before their mains.
  • Americans cook with cilantro. Australians cook with coriander.
  • American babies poop in diapers. Australian babies poo in nappies.
  • Americans wear their thongs on/in their bum. Australians wear their thongs on their feet.
  • Americans use the restroom. Australians use the toilet.
  • Americans lounge around in tracksuit pants. Australians lounge around in trakky dacks.
  • Americans wear their fannies at the back. Australians wear their fannies at the front
  • Americans go up in elevators. Australians go up in lifts
  • Americans use bathroom paper. Australians use toilet paper
  • Americans walk on sidewalks. Australians walk on pavements
  • Americans open trunks. Australians open boots
  • Americans buy gas. Australians buy petrol.
  • Americans drive pickups. Australians drive utes.
  • Americans root for their sporting teams. Australians root their…..hmm, perhaps we should stop here 🙂

Image: tedeytan